The morning bell woke me from my deep and tranquil slumber. I have never been known to be a morning person, but this particular morning was different. My eyes shot open and my head sprung up, ready for the day. I looked around briefly. Doghouses lined the yard. Strange. I don’t remember nodding off at Chena Hot Springs when I visited yesterday.
A caretaker in a green uniform approached. I had a sudden urge to greet her and please her in whichever way I could. Her mouth moved and she said something I couldn’t understand; I assumed it was an alien command for me to obey. She reached down and petted my head, ruffled my cheeks, and formed a kissy face so irresistible I licked it with fervor. Startled, she retreated and moved to the awaiting dog to my right.
I felt naked but was strangely warm. I reached down to check my cellphone. It was nowhere to be found. It finally dawned on me that I had been sleeping on the ground next to a doghouse. Was I involved in some kind of cocaine party last night? I stood up to survey the yard and felt surprisingly refreshed, full of energy and eagerness to run forever. But why did it feel like I was standing on all fours? I looked down.
Hold the phone.