I’m also going of the longest blog title but I’m probably not even close. NEXT TIME! Okay, what were we talking about again? Oh right, my amazing secret sauce for affording travel every month. Can you handle the truth? You CAN’T handle the truth!
If, after reading my tips, you are not satiated, I will be linking a collection of super useful articles at the end that includes great ideas like couch surfing and etc. There are a myriad of ways to make a living while on the road; you just need to accept that you’re probably not going to get rich in the process. But, a life rich with experiences, I would argue, is much better than one rich in material things.
I’ve been asked by many, Hung, how do you afford to travel all the time? And up until now I’ve held onto this secret like a belt on a fat man’s belly – but no more! It’s time to release it and let it fly downward like his pants after the belt is liberated from his Bulbasaurus waist. Yes, it’s true: I’m a professional GOLD DIGGER.
But here’s the rub, I only dig from my soon-to-be wife’s fertile yard. And it’s so subtle, I doubt she noticed. It’s okay you guys, she probably won’t even read this. And if she did, I can claim it all on April Fool’s Day. Honey, you thought I was serious? C’mon now, April Fools! It’s the perfect plan… except that I just told her, potentially, about the plan. Well, it’s too late. I can’t press delete now – I’m too lazy. The following tips are made for guys, but ladies, you can adapt as necessary.
Tip #1: Get a phone case that doubles as a wallet
Typically, these phone cases can only fit a few cards. Mine fits 4 cards. 3 of which are my medical card, AAA, and driver license. That leaves only 1 spot for a credit card, limiting your exposure to money spending when you’re out and about. This leads perfectly to my second tip.
Tip #2: Carry the most unaccepted card everywhere
Mastercard and Visa are universally accepted – so don’t carry these with you at any cost. My card of choice is the Discover or American Express, preferably with a maximum credit less than $500. Keep the balance as high as you can to minimize buying power. If it gets rejected at the counter, just look over to your partner with fear and anxiety. She surely will step in, pat you on the back, and pay for it. Vow to call the credit card company and find out what’s up. Then follow it up by getting an equivalent card with similar credit.
Tip #3: Go grocery shopping at stores that don’t accept credit cards
Yes, these do exist. The perfect example is WinCo. It’s actually an amazing grocery chain with a great selection and incredible prices because they have abolished credit card fees. You know what they also abolished – the need for you to pay for your groceries. Obviously, you should claim that you forgot to bring your debit card; you only have room for 4 cards for goodness’ sake. And how are you supposed to remember to switch out a credit card for a debit card? How dare WinCo not accept credit cards?! should be your primary argument when confronted.
Tip #4: Only carry enough cash for 2 McChicken sandwiches
This is about $2. Here’s the trick though: carry $22 but tuck the $20 away for extreme emergencies only like when you’re super hungry and you need 3 McChicken sandwiches.
Tip #5: Claim ownership of bills you don’t have
This is critical. My technique works primarily because of this strategy. And it works extremely well in conjunction with a mortgage as you can basically claim half your salary to this one behemoth. Now start adding bills from all sources. Ask your friends what kind of bills they normally receive in the mail and claim the same.
Tip #6: Buy cheap wallets and lose them often
This great tip is brought to you by Frank from BBQ Boy whose article Lady, can you please shut the F*ck up? made me laugh until I cried. And his tip is awesome and works very well. Not only will your friends chip in to help you out, they’ll feel sympathetic towards your bad luck. To make this work, you’ll need to purchase a LOT of wallets like this deal for bulk 2000 wallets at 30 cents a piece. It’s a big investment, but you’ll soon never have to pay for anything again! IMPORTANT NOTE: Do not put real cards into this wallet as that would entirely destroy everything you’ve worked for. You could also “lose” your wallet and not have to buy the 2000 bulk wallets but I think if you’re going to do this, you need to really sell it and commit to it.
Well, I can provide more tips but these 6 have worked incredibly well for me thus far. If you’re a gold digger like me, what are some strategies you’ve used? Don’t be an information digger and share.
For more great tips on how to travel the world on a budget, read these great articles:
Who wants free hotel stays? Everyone! Let Dana guide you with her article on how to get free accommodation.
Janet provides an awesome first-hand account on couch surfing in How Couchsurfing Changed My Life.
In his Travel Budget Guide, Tal gives you excellent resources for an inexpensive getaway.
Kate’s Vagabonding on a Budget post will give you chills and the confidence to travel on a budget.
5 secrets to travel & dive more is Florine’s excellent practical tips for saving money so you can travel and dive more often.
Going to Japan? Read Amie’s 10 budget hacks: Japan before you do.
Again, who wants free hotel stays? I DON’T don’t want that. Anne comes to the rescue: how to earn free hotel nights.
Sick of money saving tips? How about some useful tips to make your China trip awesome? Here it is: 10 useful tips for traveling in China; thanks Svet.
I wonder what it’d be like to travel for free? Or how about almost free? Brittany shows you how to travel for (almost) free!
More advice for those couch surfers from Alex and Bell: couch surfing: not just a “free” place to stay.
Still want more? Stop being so greedy! Well… if you’d like me to share your gold digging strategies or an article you wrote on this topic, please comment below with the link and I’ll add it to the list.
Travel on my friends!