Trips

Hana and I went streaking in Maui. Only one of us came back.

March 9, 2016
Hana and I went streaking in Maui - only one of us came back

I bounced up from the bed like a spring. I was confused. Dazed. “We’re going streaking!!!” That was all I could hear. Where am I? What am I? Is this a dream? Or a nightmare? I hope I didn’t pee on the bed. Those were my exact thoughts. “5:08 AM” the bedside clock indicated.

I slowly came to. And there was Hana, bouncing around the room like a child on a sugar high. “We’re going streaking!!!” she screamed. Oh God… I was kidding yesterday. She really thinks we’re streaking today? But I forgot to pack my hot bod. “C’mon! Let’s go! We’re going to hit traffic,” Hana urged. Fine. So what if I lose my dignity? No one here knows me anyway. So who cares… am I right?

We hurriedly threw things we’d need for the trip in the car and, half-awake, I started driving to Paia, the last town before the famed circuitous route that everyone told us to visit in Maui. “Can we get some breakfast?” I asked. “No, we have to hurry to beat the traffic. There’s so much to see!” Ugh… Sleepy, hungry, and soon dignity-less, I sped past Paia and we started our journey.

First stop, Twin Falls, too early, closed. Next stop, Jungle Zipline, too early, closed to idiots. WE WERE TOO EARLY FOR EVERYTHING! Agitated, I stopped the car and we walked around dangerously along the road to admire the view for a bit. If this is what the people in Maui see every morning, where do I sign up? Since we were too early for everything, we decided to drive to the end of the road and do this in reverse. Not drive in reverse… that would be both dangerous and hilarious to watch. Anyway, it was the best idea ever!

 

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The road was fun to drive, snaking like a snake (super awesome analogy, right?) and full of insane drivers unwilling to yield. The sign says YIELD when someone is in the single lane bridge YOU MANIACS!!! There were many single lane bridges that day, and I cursed just as many times. Hana told me the locals are mad aggressive. They can spot a tourist with ease. To spot a local was easy too – old truck, full of stickers, arm hanging out the window, hat, angry screaming at silly tourists. Just get out of the way, puny tourists.

8:30 AM, we made it to a small town and stopped for breakfast at the Barefoot Café. Food was good until the sewage folks showed up and starting pumping crap into a giant crap container and drove away. They took my appetite with them. Hana ate my portion like a MONSTER that she was. We walked around the beach. Hana reached for my shorts as though to pull them down. NO! Not here! Not now! I just ate – don’t you know what that does to a man’s figure? Hana laughed. She sprinted back to the car. Phew. Close call. I’m going to have to be on high streaking alert.

 

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Back on the road, we drove quickly to our first OPEN destination, Haleakala National Park and the amazing Seven Sacred Pools. No one was there! Hana and I skipped like school children down to the Pools. We turned the corner and beauty hit us in the face – amazing waterfalls and pools on one side, raging waves crashing against the cliffs on the other. I am going to climb that waterfall and jump into the pool. Nothing was going to stop me unless… Hulk. He could stop me, maybe. The Pools at Ohe’o or Seven Sacred Pools are a series of seven swimming holes connected by waterfalls. Hana and I jumped in. Water was perfect – cool, clear, and undisturbed this early in the morning. She stayed behind while I climbed up the rocks and proceeded to jump off into the pool. Perfection! If I had died right there and then, my life would have been complete.

 

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I wanted to stay there forever and become a freshwater Merman but alas we had to leave the pools. We worked our way up the trail and hiked for hours. Beautiful hike! Along the way we saw more pools and waterfalls, RED ominous signs, and a bamboo forest – in Maui?! Awestruck, I stood there like a statue, admiring the imposing bamboos shooting up to the sky. I turned around and Hana was gone. Oh crap! Streaking alert! I clung tightly to my shorts. Hana’s head popped out from the bushes like a jerk cat. She chuckled, “No, not here. Not yet. We need an audience.” My life is not safe with this woman.

 

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It took us a while to get back to the car and onto our next stop – Hamoa Beach, which quickly became my favorite beach in Maui. The secluded bay included beautiful views and plenty of palm trees for shade. And the waves were powerful, perfect for getting your face slammed and dragged along the sandy bottom. Yes, I enjoyed that part just as much as helplessly boogie boarding the aggressive waves. After two hours in the water, my tattered body dragged itself back to our beach blanket. Hana was still out there body surfing like a pro. She must be a fish! Or a seal! Or some kind of weird human-fish-seal combination! I was convinced.

 

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It was already 3 PM and we had been to only 2 places. We hurried to Waianapanapa State Park, home of the famous Black Sand Beach, Sea Arches, Lava Tubes, Caves, and Blowhole. I was too tired at that point but managed to at least walk around, take pictures and enjoy the views, and they were INCREDIBLE views! The sea arches protruding into the ocean were majestic. And the Black Sand Beach had black sand. It wasn’t as thrilling as I had originally hoped.

We stayed here for quite some time and the place started getting busier. Why were people arriving now? It was so late. I should have known this was the moment Hana was waiting for. Before I realize what was happening, my shorts had departed my body, and Hana was as free as a bird, running around giggling. People were confused and perhaps… full of admiration? Hana headed for the water. “WAIT!” I yelled. Too late. Something overcame her and she kept swimming and all I could do was watched. And just like that, she disappeared into the horizon. She was free. To this day, I still don’t know where she went. But I do know that the next time I come back to Maui, I will travel this path again and this will always be my road, the Road to Hana.

 

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It seems that I’m always getting dumped in the weirdest fashion like when I went on a blind date with Kyoto and she bit me.

Travel on my friends!

PIN THIS!!!

Hana and I went streaking in Maui

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51 Comments

  • Reply Bernard Tan March 9, 2016 at 4:11 am

    Very beautiful place! I love this place!

    • Reply Hung Thai March 9, 2016 at 6:23 am

      Thanks Bernard. It is a wonderful place indeed. I wouldn’t mind coming back here again and again.

  • Reply Maddy
    Twitter:
    March 9, 2016 at 7:35 am

    Hilarious story! Except I’m hoping that the last line is a joke and you actually found her…??
    “But I forgot to pack my hot bod.” LOL.
    Thanks for sharing this story! And the photos are beautiful, too.
    I’ve not been to Hawaii yet, but I am hoping to one day!
    Maddy recently posted this awesome article… New York City Hacks: The Do’s and Don’ts of NYCMy Profile

    • Reply Hung Thai March 9, 2016 at 6:24 pm

      Hi Maddy! Thanks :). You should definitely go to Hawaii and let me know all about it. It’s one of my favorite places and I try to make it over at least once a year – hopefully with a hot bod hehe.

  • Reply Tara
    Twitter:
    March 9, 2016 at 1:01 pm

    Wow, Hung! You crack me up and take gorgeous photos. Not about to go streaking in Hana, but I’ve got to get myself to Hawaii.

    • Reply Hung Thai March 9, 2016 at 6:25 pm

      Thanks Tara 🙂 – YES, you must definitely get over to Hawaii at least once. My favorite island is Kauai, then Oahu, Maui and Kona. Each island offers something different – so whenever you’re ready to go over there, let me know. I consider myself the outsider expert 🙂

  • Reply Pinay Flying High
    Twitter:
    March 9, 2016 at 8:48 pm

    So where did Hana go??????

    • Reply Hung Thai March 9, 2016 at 10:14 pm

      Hana stayed in Hana, and that’s why it’s called the Road to Hana… or DID she? To find out, tune in to the next episode… Hana becomes a super heroine.

  • Reply Kathryn Burrington
    Twitter:
    March 9, 2016 at 10:29 pm

    What a fabulously beautiful place! And I can’t wait to find out what happens next.
    Kathryn Burrington recently posted this awesome article… Top 12 Things to See and Do, Eat and Drink in BelfastMy Profile

    • Reply Hung Thai March 9, 2016 at 10:32 pm

      Well, you’re in luck, because the next episode is called, “OMG I found Hana like I found my missing sock!”

  • Reply KittyVogue March 9, 2016 at 11:14 pm

    Silly story, just your style! Great writing 🙂

    • Reply Hung Thai March 10, 2016 at 8:14 am

      And that’s the way the cookie crumbles…

  • Reply Svet Dimitrov
    Twitter:
    March 10, 2016 at 1:11 am

    Well, if Hana has turned into a mermaid and she is not yours anymore, may I have her? Minus your shorts. You can keep ’em! Cannot wait for the next episode!

    • Reply Hung Thai March 10, 2016 at 8:15 am

      Get on your favorite deals website, book a trip to Maui, go to Paia and drive that road and she’s all YOURS! Until I come back that is 🙂

      • Reply Svet Dimitrov
        Twitter:
        March 10, 2016 at 11:40 am

        Why not just ride the business class like an Arab emir? And have more than one mermaid :))

        • Reply Hung Thai March 10, 2016 at 11:54 am

          LOL that would also work! I feel like I’m a fish inside a man’s body. I just want to be in the water ALL THE TIME.

          • Svet Dimitrov
            Twitter:
            March 10, 2016 at 11:36 pm

            Let’s visit a waterfall and dive into its stormy waters!

          • Hung Thai March 11, 2016 at 9:39 pm

            See you there!

  • Reply Frank March 10, 2016 at 1:22 am

    Sounds like a great time, images are fantastic. You’re not the first to mention that locals in Hawaii not the friendliest – is that just on the road or in general as well?

    Frank (bbqboy)
    Frank recently posted this awesome article… Why Vienna and Beyonce are kind of similarMy Profile

    • Reply Hung Thai March 10, 2016 at 8:18 am

      I had a conversation with a local there one of the days I was in Maui (I was interviewing her for a post) and she told me everything I’ve been suspecting about what locals feel. I’ll write a post about it soon, but in short, there is a lot of pent up anger and frustration. But I don’t know if that’s just a small pocket of people or if the feeling is widespread. I can only conjecture that it is widespread, some more than others.

  • Reply Rachel Heller
    Twitter:
    March 10, 2016 at 4:24 am

    Beautiful photos of a beautiful place!

    • Reply Hung Thai March 10, 2016 at 8:19 am

      Thanks Rachel 🙂 We love it there and we try to come back once a year when the weather here in Seattle is less than ideal.

  • Reply Becky Padmore
    Twitter:
    March 10, 2016 at 7:00 am

    Wow Maui looks truly stunning! Looks like you had a great time too! 🙂

    • Reply Hung Thai March 10, 2016 at 8:19 am

      Yes we did Becky 🙂 And even though I enjoyed Maui tremendously, Kauai still remains my favorite Hawaiian island.

  • Reply Kristen Sarra
    Twitter:
    March 10, 2016 at 10:51 am

    Dude it’s your own fault for falling for a mermaid. If there’s one thing reading has taught us it’s to always ignore the call of a siren. Duh.
    Kristen Sarra recently posted this awesome article… Climbing the Acatenango Volcano in Guatemala: A Lesson in Adventure and FriendshipMy Profile

    • Reply Hung Thai March 10, 2016 at 10:59 am

      LOL thanks for that Kristen! I tried to resist but unfortunately no one tied me up so I was lured by the beautiful voice into my untimely meeting with the rocky shores. Perhaps noise-cancelling headphones should be used next time?

  • Reply Emma Hart
    Twitter:
    March 10, 2016 at 12:53 pm

    Haha, this is one of the strangest and funniest things I’ve read in a while! Maui looks amazing too 😀
    Emma Hart recently posted this awesome article… KAWS at Yorkshire Sculpture ParkMy Profile

    • Reply Hung Thai March 10, 2016 at 4:22 pm

      I have done my job 🙂

  • Reply noel March 11, 2016 at 10:30 am

    Classic on the road to Hana with a girl named Hana, love it and the tour looked wonderful

    • Reply Hung Thai March 11, 2016 at 9:40 pm

      Hehe thanks Noel! It was a great time. Wished we had stayed in Hana overnight so it wasn’t so rushed.

  • Reply Jo
    Twitter:
    March 12, 2016 at 9:49 am

    Wait! What happened to Hana – I know you never saw her but you did “hear” from her ? Gosh! I was scared there for a bit. great pics btw.

    • Reply Hung Thai March 12, 2016 at 11:09 am

      Thanks Jo 🙂 – this was my version of how the “Road to Hana” became the Road to Hana – a famous stretch of scenic connection between Paia and Hana. So I never heard from Hana again but she’s always there in Maui – maybe you can see her next time you’re there 🙂

  • Reply Sally
    Twitter:
    March 12, 2016 at 10:19 pm

    I love your writing Hung!!!
    You always have me smiling not only at your humourous and descriptive tales but also your great pics.
    Sally recently posted this awesome article… Things to Do in Bali with Kids- InfographMy Profile

    • Reply Hung Thai March 12, 2016 at 11:24 pm

      Thanks so much Sally 🙂 – sometimes I feel like I’m getting deeper and deeper into the weird stratosphere and can’t stop… because I like it too much 🙂

  • Reply Arlene March 13, 2016 at 5:41 am

    We skipped Haleakala, my kids were too young December 2008…it’s time for us to go back. Lovely article, love reading it.

    • Reply Hung Thai March 13, 2016 at 11:10 am

      That’s awesome Arlene. They’ll definitely be ready for it this time. There are 2 ways to do Haleakala: you can do the sunrise/sunset at the summit (I didn’t do it) or do the Road to Hana as a I described. Or do both. I’m probably going to go back and do the sunrise at Haleakala Summit. Just dreading the thought of having to wake up at 4 in the morning to drive up there.

  • Reply Criz
    Twitter:
    March 13, 2016 at 6:29 am

    That is hilarious, haha! I have a friend in Maui and said that it’s really beautiful there. Love your pictures and the story. Keep it up! 😉

    • Reply Hung Thai March 13, 2016 at 11:13 am

      Thanks 🙂 And your friend is right… it is amazing there. Though I don’t know if I could live there. I love the snow too much. And I love enjoying a cup of coffee or and listening to music while it rains outside. I suppose that’s why I love the Pacific Northwest so much.

  • Reply Christine
    Twitter:
    March 14, 2016 at 4:31 am

    Great story! Maui looks so beautiful!

    • Reply Hung Thai March 14, 2016 at 7:36 am

      Thanks Christine 🙂 Maui is one of my favorite places to go recharge as it is often cold and gloomy here in Seattle.

  • Reply melody pittman
    Twitter:
    March 14, 2016 at 3:43 pm

    Glad you had fun. 😉 Gorgeous location, never been there but definitely noteworthy. Kudos for doing something off the beaten path.

    • Reply Hung Thai March 14, 2016 at 4:58 pm

      Thanks Melody – it was a great trip. I can’t wait to go back :).

  • Reply Jocelyn
    Twitter:
    March 20, 2016 at 5:50 pm

    Maui was one of the islands we didn’t make. I would love to go and visit the road to Hana. Looks amazing!

    • Reply Hung Thai March 20, 2016 at 5:53 pm

      There’s SO much to do, too! It would be best to stay in Hana a few days to really get that Hana feeling 🙂 – Next time!

  • Reply Ryan Biddulph
    Twitter:
    March 23, 2016 at 7:55 am

    Hi Hung,

    Naked, raw emotion here 😉 The pictures are stunning! And I too would have eaten the food off your plate. Even as a sewage treatment team pumped poop right outside the dining spot. I am sick like that. As for the trip, gotta add Hawaii to my travel list. So far we’ve done the South Pacific, the North calls.

    Thanks for sharing Hung!

    Ryan

    • Reply Hung Thai March 23, 2016 at 9:50 am

      Thanks for dropping by Ryan. We’ll switch places – I go South, you go North 🙂

  • Reply Shelly
    Twitter:
    March 23, 2016 at 4:30 pm

    Love the Road to Hana! My favourite part of Maui. It’s definitely all about the journey and not the destination.
    Shelly recently posted this awesome article… Vacation Sex vs. Travel Sex – A Battle of the SexesMy Profile

    • Reply Hung Thai March 23, 2016 at 4:34 pm

      Yes! I wish we had stayed in Hana a few nights to really enjoy all that it has to offer. We only hit up 3 attractions really during this day trip; it was still awesome, but we’ll have to come back and do the rest for sure.

  • Reply Suzanne - Travelbunny
    Twitter:
    March 30, 2016 at 11:36 am

    Love this story and your photos are fabulous too. Did you see whales in Maui?
    Suzanne – Travelbunny recently posted this awesome article… The Grand Canyon – West Rim ViewsMy Profile

    • Reply Hung Thai March 30, 2016 at 4:52 pm

      Thanks Suzanne 🙂 – it was an excellent trip, but now whales. I didn’t think you could see whales there. Did you see any when you visited?

  • Reply Arm Chair Travel #3 - Toddlers on Tour March 31, 2016 at 3:19 am

    […] Hana and I went streaking in Maui. Only one of us came back. […]

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